Most people do not become managers because they enjoy having difficult conversations. They become managers because they are good at their job, understand the business, know the customers or have demonstrated that they can take on more responsibility.
Then suddenly they are expected to deal with poor performance, absence, attitude, conflict, missed deadlines and uncomfortable conversations with members of their team.
And that is often where problems begin.
When a conversation feels uncomfortable, it is very easy to put it off. Maybe the employee will improve. Maybe the problem will resolve itself. Maybe it is not quite serious enough yet. Maybe next week will be a better time.
But in HR, issues that are ignored rarely become easier to manage.
The problem with waiting
Take underperformance. A manager notices that someone's work is not quite where it should be, but they do not want to make a big issue of it.
A few weeks pass and the rest of the team starts picking up some of the work. Standards can begin to slip and frustration grows. Meanwhile, the manager becomes increasingly irritated while the employee may have no idea there is a serious concern.
Eventually, the business reaches the point where it wants to take action and the employee's completely reasonable response might be:
"Why has nobody told me this before?"
That is much harder to answer than it would have been to have a clear conversation three months earlier.
Difficult conversations do not have to be confrontational
One of the biggest misconceptions around managing people is that raising a problem has to mean confrontation. It does not.
A good management conversation can simply start with:
"I have noticed this. I want to understand what is happening and we need to agree what happens next."
That gives the employee the opportunity to explain. They might need additional training, there may be a health issue, expectations might not have been clear, or there could be something happening elsewhere in the team. It may simply be that their performance is not at the required level.
Until the conversation happens, the manager is often working on assumptions.
Silence can look like acceptance
This becomes particularly important during probation. Probation only works if it is actively managed.
If an employee works for several months without receiving any feedback about concerns, they may reasonably believe everything is going well. Waiting until the final week of probation to suddenly produce a list of problems is not good management.
Regular reviews give employers the opportunity to:
- Set clear expectations and identify problems early
- Give the employee an opportunity to improve
- Offer appropriate support or training
- Keep a record of concerns and agreed actions
- Make an informed decision about whether the employee is right for the role
This will become even more important as employers prepare for the reduction in the qualifying period for ordinary unfair dismissal to six months from 1 January 2027.
Anyone recruited from July 2026 onwards could potentially reach six months' service once the new rules are in force. That makes good probation management something employers need to think about now, not in December.
The cost is not only legal
When we talk about difficult conversations in HR, it is easy to focus purely on employment law risk. But allowing a problem to continue can have a much wider impact.
The rest of the team notices when a colleague is not meeting the same standards and nothing seems to happen. Strong performers can become frustrated when they feel they are continually compensating for somebody else, and managers can spend a surprising amount of time worrying about an unresolved issue, discussing it with others and trying to work around it.
Eventually, performance, workplace relationships and even customer service can be affected.
There is also an impact on the employee themselves. Allowing someone to continue without honest feedback is not necessarily kind. They cannot improve something they do not know is a problem.
The conversation is usually easier earlier
There is a big difference between saying:
"I have noticed you have been late three times this month. Is there something going on that we need to understand?"
and waiting six months before saying:
"Your timekeeping has been unacceptable for months."
The first opens a conversation. The second can feel like a judgement that has already been made.
The same principle applies to performance, behaviour, absence and many other workplace issues. Early conversations give everyone more options.
Managers need confidence as well as policies
Businesses can have excellent policies, processes and employee handbooks, but ultimately somebody still has to have the conversation.
Managers need to understand when they should step in, what questions they should ask, what they need to record and when something can remain an informal conversation rather than becoming a formal HR process. Just as importantly, they need to recognise the point where they should stop and ask for HR advice.
That confidence is often what prevents an everyday management issue becoming a much bigger people problem.
Do not wait for a people problem to become an HR emergency
Most employers will face difficult conversations at some point. That is normal. What matters is how quickly and fairly those conversations are handled.
If performance is beginning to slip, behaviour has changed or a manager repeatedly finds themselves saying "I really need to speak to them about that", it is probably time to have the conversation.
Not every issue needs a formal process and not every difficult conversation will end badly. But ignoring the conversation rarely makes the underlying problem disappear.
Sometimes the most supportive thing a manager can do is deal with the issue early, clearly and fairly.
Need support with a difficult employee conversation?
The HR Practice supports employers and managers with practical HR advice, manager coaching and support with performance, probation, absence, conflict and other workplace issues.
Getting advice early can often help resolve the issue before it becomes much more difficult to manage.
This article provides general information only and is not legal advice relating to a specific situation. Individual circumstances matter, so take appropriate advice before taking formal action.
